It'll Never Fly

I’ve never read the book, but I have had a stranger read it to me. Going into it, I didn’t think I’d like it, but afterwards found it to be a neat little story. I much prefer the ending of the movie than the one from the book (which is so anticlimactic).

I’m not one for mysteries, but I do like a good treasure hunt. Takes me back to my childhood, not because I went on treasure hunts anymore then than I do now (which is none at all), but because I always wanted to. It’s probably the same reason I like the Indiana Jones movies, and to some extent, National Treasure. It’s not a perfect formula, though; case in point: Sahara.

I can see why certain religious groups are making a fuss about the book and the movie. It’s because they always make a fuss about anything.

Meh. Some neat scenes, but otherwise pretty ho-hum. One of my favourite viral videos has now been sullied; I get chills just watching it now. Was it really necessary to put Rogue in this movie? What exactly did she do? Did I blink and miss it? The whole movie just seemed way too contrived.

Granted, X-Men has never been my favourite Marvel comic. I barely know anything about them at all. Just what I get from the occasional crossover with Spider-man or DC/Wildstorm. The second movie of the three is still my favourite. Stay after the credits, I guess, if you want your money’s worth. Luckily, I had free admission, so my money wasn’t wasted. However, the free admission coupon was.

The best word I could use to describe this movie is “zany.” This is a comedy first, and a monster movie second. Some other movies I would compare this to are Eight Legged Freaks and Lake Placid. It’s got Nathan Fillion of “Firefly” fame, Michael Rooker (Cliffhanger and 6th Day), Gregg Henry (Payback), and Jenna Fischer (“The Office”), so how could you not like it?

First, I need to start this off with a quick definition, in light of the fact that I will be referencing it in the coming sentences (and quite possibly future reviews). For those who don’t know my brother Bill, his favourite movies are the kind that deal with slashers, killers, monsters, vampires, werewolves, and especially zombies, etc… Hence, a “Bill Movie” is your typical, creepy, blood and guts kind of fare. When you have a taste for those kind of movies, you can’t just stick to mainstream titles. You’ve got to delve into the B, C, and even D titles. And he doesn’t limit himself to North America, either. He’s particularly fond of the Italian horrors, as well as the Japanese psychological thrillers. We’ve never found the source of this pastime; the nearest we’ve come is that our mother saw Rosemary’s Baby when she was pregnant with him. That seems just as good a reason as any. He continues ever onward on his unending quest to find a movie that will actually scare him.

Now for the actual review. I’ve never seen the original Hills Have Eyes, and I’ll admit the first time I saw the trailer, the first thing that popped into my mind was “Bill Movie all the way.” I normally don’t like Bill Movies, but, by proxy, I’ve been to or seen quite a few of them, so I feel I have a pretty good base of knowledge with which to compare.

I really enjoyed Hills Have Eyes. I’ll definitely be picking it up on DVD when it comes out. I think a movie like this only really works when the characters seem real, are strong, and multi-dimensional. For these movies to work (i.e. to go above and beyond) you have to actually care about the characters. Whose side you’re on doesn’t matter so much as long as you’re at least on someone’s side. If I had taken more film classes, this is where I’d start flinging out words like “id,” “superego,” and “catharsis,” but I haven’t, so I won’t.

Anyway, check it out. It’s a fun movie.

Sorry. This review is a tad late. I saw this over a month ago, but have fallen behind on my movie review postings. Otherwise, this may have been able to save some of you a few dollars. How negligent of me. The review is as follows:

Well that was a waste of my time. Don’t get me wrong. The Sentinel is not a bad movie. It simply has nothing at all going for it that puts it above the average. Sure, you can argue that it has Eva Longoria in it, and that alone should make it better, and that would probably make you their target audience. I had no idea who Eva Longoria was (having never watched Desperate Housewives, and having only vaguely heard her name in passing, I thought she was some Italian pin-up model from the 1950′s) up until a few weeks before the movie came out when news articles started mentioning the Maxim Magazine marketing ploy involving Ms. Longoria. I thought she acted neither great nor horrible in The Sentinel, but then I felt the same about all the actors in the movie. Maybe that’s a compliment for Ms. Longoria; I don’t know. To me it just seemed like everyone was going through the motions, like they were doing it just for the paycheque, and it showed…