I’m generally an easy-going, even-keeled kind of guy. It usually takes quite a lot to get me riled up or angry about something.

But here’s a few for the books:

• Punk-ass teenagers who think they own the sidewalk and won’t squeeze to one side, especially when there are banks of snow on either side. One of these times I’m gonna knock one of those ass-clowns down on their bitch-ass and then laugh my ass off. And I wrote “ass” way too many times there. See what I mean? Riled up…
• Cyclists who think they own the sidewalk. I don’t care how treacherous the street is; it’s called a sidewalk for a reason, you jackholes! And then to yell, “Excuse me,” like you have any rights whatsoever. All that does is make me move to the middle and slow down.
• Drivers that don’t signal. Those little levers on your steering column and those little lights on the corners of your vehicle aren’t just for other drivers, you know. You people make me late getting to places, waiting for your dumb-ass selves to make your move.
• Drivers that don’t look for pedestrians when turning on a red light.
• Drivers that stop in the middle of a crosswalk. You ass-monkeys force me to either walk dangerously close to oncoming traffic (which is probably chock full of more idiots like you), or behind you where I run the chance of getting crushed at the knees by a tailgater or smoked off by someone who didn’t see me because of you. Stopped at an intersection is not the time you should be using to finish your pudding! (Yes, this actually happened.)
• Places that close before their posted hours. Whether I want to come in at 8:05AM or 9:55PM, I’m still a damn customer. If you don’t want me coming in 5 minutes before closing then don’t say you’re open that late.

I’ll add more if I think of them.