If you’re wondering why the site was down for a few hours yesterday evening, it was because the power went out around 6:45PM. Instead of doing something with my life having had my umbilical to the Internet severed, like going out into what some would call beautiful weather, I decided to take a nap. The power came back on a half hour later, but I didn’t until 9:45PM. Waking up to the incessant prattle of the Gilmore Girls is not a pleasant experience.
I was checking my web logs this morning, and trying to filter out the crap, to have a look-see at the types of visitors I’ve been getting for the last little while. I noticed a particularly odd user agent string (the piece of text that a client’s browser presents to others to identify itself) appearing throughout my log files. These are usually the standard fair: Firefox, Safari, IE, etc…, but some of the IE browsers have the extra tag, “FunWebProducts,” associated to them. This is not a new revelation. This type of agent string has been around for four years now. It’s the result of a company using sneaky and underhanded tactics to get their software installed on unsuspecting users’ computers. Yes, it’s adware (or malware, or spyware, or viruses, wherever your beliefs put you on the anti-spyware scale). I’ve just never paid much attention to them before. But the hows and whys of these vistors’ arrivals to my site are what recently peaked my interest.
So here are the search strings that were used by said users’ browsers to reach my site from January 2005 on (in rough chronological order). Where a search phrase has been repeated, I’ve placed a multiplier modifier at the end of each line to represent how many times. There’s a bit of a common thread going here, and might also lead you to realize how such adware may have been installed in the first place. Ashlee Simpson screensaver anyone? The IPs have been hidden to protect the incompetent.
* used rolex wanted
* PDV-0700K (x2)
* ps2 hdd winnipeg
* crash bash
* heroscape pieces
* swoosh swoosh sound
* bestbuy.ca
* “never fly”
* leaf collection hose
* fly games
* penial implants images (x5)
* redd skull comics
* hands in my pockets spoof (x3)
* jeopardy snl scenes
* CJME
* fly with leaf blowers
* scrollable comments (x2)
* “guy fawkes costume”
* amazing race
* Korean girls
* clever firefly quotes
* haircut skateboarder
* humour old 80′s stories
* fly rider game (x4)
* o.c.disorders
* saber rider
* humour of accountant
* wqiki
* list of cooking shows of the 80′s
* 80′s sci fi toys
* savings in egypt in the 80′s
* 80′s weird songs list
* hentai girl with bandaid
* where can i watch free cartoons from the 80′s
I’m not sure which is more shocking: that my site is considered that much of a haven for photos of penial implants, or the types of search queries that will eventually lead to this post now that I’ve collected everything in one place.
That’s just the search phrases from the people “infected” with FunWeb stuff, which is a much smaller slice of the pie that represents my overall set of visitors. The other search phrases are far more boring (but maybe I’ll give the same treatment to those some day).
And if you happen to recognize some of those search queries as your own, you might want to try running Ad-Aware and some other kinds of anti-virus and anti-spyware software on your computer. And get your Windows Updates up to date. And stop clicking “Yes” and “Allow” to everything that pops up. Actually, just stop clicking anywhere on a pop-up. Forget that, install a pop-up blocker. Better yet, get one of your kids to do it. Scratch that, just stop clicking… period. Don’t even turn your computer on.
Go nuts.
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Classic sketch by Canadian comedy troupe, Radio Free Vestibule.
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A palette of web-colors corresponding to the sixteen “illegal” digits comprising the AACS key.
I’ve found a new toy to occupy my time… facebook.com. I joined back in Nov, 2006, when they opened their doors to the public. I heard a lot of MySpace people were migrating to Facebook, and I wanted to see what the big deal was. Well, not a whole lot was going on at the time.
But only just a week or two ago, friend requests started trickling in from old school chums I hadn’t seen in 10 – 15 years! Now I’ve got several dozen people on there that I’ve either gone to school with or worked with, and it’s starting to feel like it’s building to a critical mass. Give it a try!
As I write this, faceborg.com is still untaken for those with a sense of humour.