It'll Never Fly

My mom openly admits this is her favourite picture of me. I imagine her copy is neither torn nor taped together… I wouldn’t read very much into that tear; I did it myself while putting it in my cheap brittle plastic novelty frame that housed all my school portraits. I’m sure you all had one. Maybe you didn’t use it, but you probably had one. It might’ve been in the shape of a school, with each window being a picture frame, or possibly in the shape of a book. Mine was in the shape of a school bus, which is weird, as I never rode on school buses, except on field trips. Oh well…

I’ll admit, tear and tape aside, it is a pretty good picture. I was clearly destined for fame and fortune as a movie star or sports legend with those devilishly good looks. Not sure who the Oilers gear came from. I had a Canadiens sweatshirt, too, that I remember wearing all the time. I’ve never known Mom or Pop to be big hockey nuts, so it must’ve been a grandparent. Thus, it was either my Dad’s Mom, who was a huge sports freak, or my other Grandma, and it was a bargain. Or quite possibly, given the climate in Canada at the time, it was one of the only clothes you could buy.

And, hey, it looks like I’ve moved a little ways out of the forest. The bowl cut is still evident, though (which was the style at the time). One of the few pictures you’ll ever see of me with my mouth even slightly open. Still had my baby teeth. Those’ll be gone by next year.

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a.k.a. Who’s a pretty narcissist, then?

Oh sure, I could post a cute picture of myself on my birthday and be done with it, like some people. Or I could even give the special day a name, like some other people. Nah, neither of those would do this particular day any justice at all.

So in keeping with the tradition of all things that are sacred and holy, I present to you the Bobvent Calendar of the Twelve Days of Bobtober leading up to Bobtoberfest. Given that there are twelve days of Bobtober, my birthday is on the 12th, and generally speaking there are roughly twelve years of school that have a Picture Day which most kids have to go through, I will be posting each school year’s Picture Day picture of myself.

Today we have my kindergarten picture, and the beginning of the 80’s (1981, if my calculations are correct). Brown was still stylish, and bowl cuts were in. And apparently, for some reason, I’m clearly sitting on a tree stump in the middle of a forest somewhere, as is evident by the background.

Ain’t I a stinker? I look like I belong on the jacket cover of The Omen.

Update: Random Facts: 1.) The Omen came out in 1976. 2.) I “came out” (i.e. was born) in 1976. 3.) Damien was 5 years old in the movie. 4.) I was 5 years old in that picture. 5.) Patrick Troughton was in The Omen. 6.) Patrick Troughton was in “Doctor Who” as the second Doctor. 7.) Patrick Troughton is my second favourite Doctor. 8.) Bob is spelled the same way forwards as it is backwards. Coincidence? I think not!